Parenthood

What does parenthood mean?

“We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.” -Unknown

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Well to me it means overtime without pay -lol. Seriously though, I used to think being a parent would be somewhat hard but, boy was I mistaken. It is hard, especially if you have more than one child around the same age. Yes, when I had only my eldest it felt so hard but eventually you get into a flow. When you have multiple children, it's hard to satisfy each ones need and your own. It may not always be about physical exhaustion which, let's be honest it is but it definitely takes a toll on one's mental state. Parenting has its rewards, but it is also a lot of work.

Rewards come in many forms. Playing in a child's world is fun and for a couple.

minutes to hours you're a child again too. Their milestones can make you feel this

overwhelming feeling of pride and excitement for them. The silly things they say

create the best memories and can keep you laughing for days. The list goes on and

on but it's not all play and no work.

The work one puts into it can be equally overwhelming both mentally and physically

and will definitely keep you on your toes. You will have to repeat yourself about 5 to

10 times to stop hitting their sibling. Parents will have to fake excitement every time

your child shows you something new and exciting for the 100th time. The never

ending feedings and cleaning one has to do to keep them from hurting themselves

or screaming that they're hungry. Unless I am the only parent facing this then I think

we can all relate somehow to all of this.

You know even though it is hard work, it pays off, every day just looking at how beautiful my children are. The love they have for a parent is unconditional and amazes me, the way they can forgive and still love you even after scolding them is inspiring. If only some adults could go back to being children so that they can remember what kindness is. Heavenly Father even says to be childlike. I think because children embody LOVE just like Jesus embodies LOVE.

I believe every person should be educated on parenting before deciding to become parents themselves. They should learn every step their unborn child transforms into when in utero. Make educated decisions before deciding anything permanent. Continue learning with the growth of your child. From the moment you conceive the child to the moment your child turns --unlimited number of ages -Lol. It is a never-ending process, and it will be inconsistent, messy and at times, hard, but never give-up on your child and yourself. Parents can even read blogs or books to understand different perspectives on how to parent their child if they do not know where to start or what kind of parent they want to be. Children are like sponges and can be easily molded, or transformed into whatever you tell them, so be careful! It is up to us as parents to guide them, teach them, lead them the best we can into a brighter tomorrow. I hope this somehow helps. This information is 100% my opinion and not to be taken as facts, please look into other sources to completely consider your options/guidelines. Also... you are doing an amazing job mama/daddy, do you know why? Because you are doing your best and that is all anyone can ask for. Don't give-up! I've also learned, well I guess put into action is that repetition is key. I don't mean repeating the alphabet to the little ones (although that is good too). I mean having a breathable schedule for your child to follow as best they can. Consistency isn't going to be perfect; mistakes will be made and rewritten, time will most likely NOT be on your side, but the ultimate goal is to persevere. One of my favorite quotes can sum it up nicely, "a little progression is better than no progression." So, we must keep trying even with little progress, from morning to night. Stay Consistent --again, as possible as each parent can. That in itself sounds and is exhausting but parenting will be easier, this I can attest to. This breathable schedule does include naptime and bedtime, which when done right, gives parents such a nice break -Lol.

Children are funny and ours in particular crack us up, sometimes in the middle of being naughty. There are times where they will talk back or have a smart answer with attitude to add to it, all this while being naughty and telling them they will go to time-out if they continue. There have been plenty of times where we [Justyn and I] want to laugh in that moment but don't. We know that if we laugh while they are being naughty, they will think it's ok for them to continue to be naughty. Instead, we [Justyn and I] wait until they're not looking, or we hide our faces and quietly laugh. I love my kids.

Another surprising thing about parenthood is the early awareness of a child's individual identity. As a parent I believe it is our responsibility to water our children's ever-growing personality by letting their light shine. Let's not hinder our Children's individualism the way we may have been hindered in our adolescence. I believe personalities show very early on in a young child's life. The light we see in our children is bright and hopefully we can continue to help it continue to shine. Take our beautiful eldest daughter, Kataryna she is a mini-Ms. Aloha, who loves to dance and isn't shy to do so in front of crowds, and a sweet, thoughtful girl. Nyklaus, our handsome second born has a very outgoing, energetic persona who is very fearless (exception being fireworks) who loves to run and has an athletic arm. Our current baby, Marcellus may be too young to see who he will become but if I had to envision his characteristics, I would say he is going to be like his older brother -Lol. I cannot tell yet but he sure is a cutie. Once we can see it, we will definitely help nourish it.

Another parenthood obstacle that I want to believe all parents face is disciplinary action. It is definitely tough to discipline a child how, I've read that saying no to a child is a negative reinforcer and if you've said that before then you are not alone. Although we hate saying, "NO!" to our children, we are guilty of using that word from time-to-time. We used to say no to our first eldest son so much (emphasis on the NO!) because he just wouldn't listen. Then, I read an article about spending alone time with him for at least 10 minutes a day and letting him dictate what we were going to do during those 10 minutes. Since I started --mind you it hasn't been perfect-- I have seen so much improvement in his behavior. We still occasionally say "no!' but it's less frequent and he is listening more because I am listening to his needs more.

My mantra since having my children is, "better them cry now than us cry later." I love my babies, and I've seen what life is like when a parent is passive so if I am strict now then later, they will make right decisions on their own. Once you have children, it is a never-ending obligation from the love one has for them that lasts until chronological death. So, for now it is a constant go to bed, eat your veggies, stop hitting/biting/pushing/pinching your brother/sister etc... UNTIL they get it!! Remember Mama... Don't quit! Make it a new year resolution if you have to, continue the good, "fight," just remember what we are "fighting," for. Respectable morals, honest judgements, bravery for truth and for what's right, to be responsible and free thinkers to name just a few, all for our posterity. Hope this helps in anyway. Love to you all!

Besitos 🌿 With Aloha,

Them Plus Us Ohana