Let's Talk Kaka

Talking can be #beneficial, can it not? This is something I have learned with the love of a husband who knowingly and respectfully listens to his chatter-box wife. Especially when I [his wife] feels the need to express all my thoughts. Emphasis on ALL! -Lol

I've never been one to have so many inner thoughts, not since I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl a year ago. My thoughts are like any loving mother who is devoted to making their child's life better than their own. I see how quickly she learns, how she yearns to learn more and how kindhearted she is, making each day a #beautiful one for not only herself but for her parents too. My defaults keep me up at night. I know I can do more for her, I want to do more for her and help her accomplish what she and all children are capable of. I do feel inadequate in teaching my child what I, myself am not confident in. I think of the potential she has yet to unlock and what I can do to make it an easy transition, but I feel unfit, more than unfit, I feel scared that I won't be able to guide her accurately. It may be more than her #schooling I have put on my shoulders, but these are the things that keep me up at night and consume my daily thoughts.

We left things unfinished back in #Utah, it was a hard yet necessary action to move back to #Hawaii. A world of feelings that are out-of-my-control is how I currently feel, like I am trapped inside a facade that no one has been able to #breakthrough. I can express only so much to Justyn, but to truly understand I would have to write. It is through my writing that I am at my most #vulnerable. For that reason alone, I write. I #write to myself, to my daughter and to anyone seeking advice, comfort or a way to move-on from their troubles.

It was not the move we wanted to make, especially for our daughter who has had to endure this #instability in her life at such a young age. #Uprooting was not ideal, but it was a necessary means to an end. Emotions have consumed my life thus far, but I write to forget it all and move-on from that which keeps me preoccupied and trapped. Maintaining in such a #status will only end my happiness, one that I am not willing to surrender. I love my daughter and my husband, they are the #motivators that keep me going. I am not a label, I am not depressed, I am not living in darkness (as they say) but I have been overwhelmed with emotions (momentarily) that I am in need to express them. These are the things that keep me up at night and consume my daily thoughts.

Here are a few things I do to keep myself motivated (to each their own of course):

*Keep my mind constructively occupied (i.e., DIY projects)

*Challenge myself (i.e., 100 days of running)

*Eat healthy and take-in a sufficient number of supplements (#Youngevity)

*5 Daily affirmations (i.e., You are not perfect)

*Pray

*Write (i.e., Blog)

I look forward to the future and this year will be the year of the JK Family. Cheers to moving-on, forgiving, forgetting and complete #HAPPINESS!

Besitos 🌿 With Aloha,

Them Plus Us Ohana